Week Two: So Much To Do (Is it EVER enough?)

It's week two.  I'm wondering how long I will be counting the weeks?

Last week was restful but a big adjustment. N is still in all day preschool and C and C are at their school programs. So I'm trying to tackle as many house projects as I can before our July family vacations lead to more time with the kiddos during the days.  I am also volunteering for a local political candidate's campaign. It's a great way to keep my communication skills sharp and perfect for combining my political and communication passions. The laundry is caught up and I'm on my way to FINALLY organizing my dream home. When I pick up our 10 year old, the first thing he says is "so, what did you do today?"  Great question. The days are flying by. Yet, when it's time to respond to C's question, my immediate response is, "Not enough."  Is it ever?

Week One: Really Done?

It's been one week since I handed in my ID badge and all tangible elements of my corporate life.  How is it?  Awesome, scary, restful, exhausting, funny, frightening - just like a day at an amusement park.  I've had ups: breakfast each day with all four kiddos, two lunches with my husband, midday naps, a stress releasing massage...and downs:  I'm more exhausted than a regular week of work + soccer + early morning meetings + hockey + boy scouts + baseball..., I've had a few overwhelming crying spells - similar to post partum depression - that feeling of not knowing what to do or what this is all about. But through all this, I think I've finally found the recognition that this is going to be the next incredible journey of my life.  But before I move on.... 

I have shared the news with many and received a wide range of responses.  Overwhelmingly positive with a few "Did you get fired," "Are you sick," "Is everything ok at home," questions.  I will continue to share details leading up to the deciding moment but to address the specific questions - 1. I did not get fired - see I.Resign. post one. 2. My physical health is fine and mental health is getting better every day! :)  3. Things at home could not be better. I have a supportive husband who loves and is very good at his job and is happy to provide for our family, three intelligent, fun and adventurous kids and I am VERY lucky to be his wife and their mom.  I hope I can live up to the fun I have promised them with this time we now have together.   

I.Resign.

"I don't think I remember her ever not working."  - the father of my childhood best friend when hearing the news I had quit my corporate job.  

"I resign."  The simple statement shared with the HR manager at the corporate job I loved and hated the last six years. For the first time in my nearly twenty year career, nothing followed.  No, "I have accepted a position with x" or "I appreciate the opportunity this company has provided me..."  Just two words.  I. Resign.

Alligator tears filled my eyes and streamed uncontrollably down my face.  Tears of relief. Relief that I could stop worrying about leaving my babies at the breakfast table while I rushed to make an 8 a.m. meeting of little to no significance.  Relief that I could stop spinning my wheels exerting energy trying to climb the corporate ladder when really I was like a gerbil spinning on its wheel. Relief that I had a choice. The choice to stay and continue spinning or go, go to that something that has significance; My Family.

The decision was not as simple as the two words. In fact, it was weeks, months of consideration and quite frankly, I'm still not sure this is the "right thing."  Spending more time with my family was the logical explanation and one that was easy for me and most everyone else to believe. BUT,  the night before I delivered the message to HR, we asked our 10 year old son if he would want to spend the summer hanging out with me or going to his daylong summer program at school.  He was confused by this question and quickly responded that "it sounds really great to spend time with you but I think I would miss my friends."  And so the adjustment begins for all of us.